Sick Girl

We've been lucky that while Cassidy had tons of colds last year (first year in daycare) she was still a pretty easy going girl. Aside from an injury, or forced by daycare, we've never had a sick visit and she's never had more than a cold.

And she only has a cold now but...  she clearly doesn't feel well.  Not eating, sleeping a ton and grumpy! Wow is she grumpy!

It started Friday so I hope she feels better tomorrow. We've watched a lot of TV this weekend. Apparently Dora the Explorer makes her feel better :-)    I've only seen glimpses of her normal smiley self and I want her all the way back!

I love how whatever is on our tv photographs so well.

We also love the Backyardigans!

Cute kid

I say it all the time and I know it's mom pride but I have the cutest kid. With the weather still so nice we played outside a lot this weekend.  She peeks through the fence into the neighbors yard!  It's awful but it's also cute.

About a year ago I purchased headbands with little flower clips for her. She's never worn them though I wear the flowers.  The headbands are a little tight on her head now but she puts them on for 2 minutes or so.  She still doesn't have enough hair for a headband!

Trick or Treating

Last night was our delayed Trick or Treat night after the power outtages.  Cassidy wore her duck costume and loved helping us hand out candy. She ran to the door everytime the bell rang and then waved bye to the kids as they left (ok, after they were out of sight but she tries).  It was a fun night!

Shabby Shoppe Goosebumps digital package

Halloween - Postponed

Well, thanks to the unseasonably early snowstorm, Halloween Trick or Treating is postponed. Much of our town (luckily not us for a change) is without electricity so I think it's the right decision by the town to postpone. I hope my friends start getting their power back soon. We've gone through it, once for 4 days and we sympathize.

Last Thursday, Bill's work had a big Halloween party known as, Athenaween :-)  Bill worked from home that day and brought her to the kiddie portion in the afternoon. I had told Cassidy earlier that daddy was taking her to a party and she was so excited. Carrying her costume around the house, trying to put her tights on over her corduroys.   So... while I don't have official Halloween photos, I have a little sneak peak of Cass in her duck costume.  Which she loves.  But she won't say Quack.

Good Pathology News

Late Monday the doctor called with the final pathology report. Lymph nodes still clear (phew!). They found a teeny tiny amount of invasive cancer; 2 millimeters or for us Americans who still don't know the metric system,  .07 inches.  TINY! They are setting me up an appointment with an oncologist as standard practice.I asked what she thought the recommendation might be and she said maybe nothing, maybe hormone therapy.  I'm happy to see the oncologist because there is still the question of my (hormonal) birth control implant which is still in my arm.  I suspect I'm going to hear a firm - remove it! but I'll wait until I hear it in person.

If you've done any on-line research on  my diagnosis there are questions on whether DCIS would ever turn invasive. Sometimes it doesn't. It was hard for me to have my entire breast removed for something that may or may not have become invasive. That teeny tiny amount of invasive cancer they found confirms that I did the right thing because my DCIS would have turned invasive.  Not that I'm the type of person to ever regret anything but... I don't ever have to second guess any of my decisions now.

I need to talk to work about when I'm going back but now I have two or three more doctors appointments (oncologist, follow-up with breast surgeon, and then maybe BC Implant removed) so I'm hoping to be able to provide work with a date by the end of this week. It just doesn't make sense to me to go back to work and then have to use my vacation time on doctors appointments.

This past weekend we went to the Franklin Park Zoo. Which we felt was a bit of a rip off since half the animals were gone. It was still a nice day to be outside and enjoying the fall day.

zebras are cool

Bill looks so happy!

None of the pictures have me in them because I still cannot hold my child.  Ten more days!

Day before surgery has been pretty relaxing

My mom, Cassidy and I went to Garden in the Woods in Framingham this morning to try to take Cassidy's 18 month picture (my girl is 18 months old!  when did that happen?).  It was chilly! Fall has arrived (for the day at least). While the garden was more just woods at this time of year, we had many good picture taking opportunities.

Cass kept running away from us and Grammie had to chase her down

My Favorite!

We had a really fun time!

I'd have to be totally dead inside not to be nervous about tomorrow but... I think I'm doing okay. Last night I talked to an American Cancer Society volunteer with the Reach to Recovery program. They matched me up with someone who had the exact same surgery and reconstruction. It was nice to hear what to expect from someone who went through the same thing. I feel like I know a little better what to expect tomorrow and I know I can handle it. The bottom line is, after tomorrow's surgery, I will still be me. A mom, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a valued employee, an avid exerciser, a dog-lover and a control freak. Real boobs or fake boobs or the kinda-sorta lumps I’ll have for the next few months doesn’t change who I am. 

Digi scrapbooking supplies from Shabby Shoppe

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month

If you don’t know that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month you must live in a closet and have someone slip you skinny meals under the door.  Every magazine I’ve read in the last two weeks has articles about breast cancer. How to figure out if you have it, what the risks are, whose had it and how they’re doing.  Commercials on the radio about the Making Strides against breast cancer walk in Boston this weekend. Even the discount kids  site – Zulily – today had kids shirts with the pink ribbon!  I’m happy that it gets lots of attention and I absolutely hope they find a cure – especially since my daughter will be high risk for breast cancer. Next year I’ll be walking and collecting money for research.

But this year I’d like to read a magazine for entertainment and not have it remind me that cancer is growing in my right breast! I think about it enough, I don’t need reminders.

Cassidy is going through an adjustment period with the move to the toddler room at school and the transition to one nap a day. She’s doing great and learning new things but she’s also tired and cranky. Frustrated that she’s talking but we don’t understand her. And the more tired she is the naughtier she is and the more she wants mommy to cuddle with her.  So the further disruption of mommy not being able to pick her up is bad timing. I’m sure we’ll manage but it’s one more thing I’m worrying about.

We don't know how strong we are until being strong is the only choice we have.

-unknown