Saturday, December 31, 2011

Happy New Year!

At the end of the year, many people reflect back over the last year. I feel like I'm expected to say that 2011 was the worst year of my life. Jake was diagnosed with thyroid disease and epilepsy. He's only 6 years old. Bill had a heart attack at 42! I had cancer! It was a hard year. But it was a good year too. Cassidy learned to walk and talk. We had lots of fun day trips and vacations. I learned that all my friends are really great friends who stood by me during tough times. Bill and I know that we got the worst of "for better or worse" out of the way. We survived and our relationship is stronger than ever.

I think 2012 will be an interesting year. My perspective on life has changed. I'm going back to work on Tuesday and I don't want to go. Life is too short. There is too much fun and laughs to have. I don't want to spend another minute toiling away in my cube and being stressed out, so some corporation can profit. But I love our lifestyle and our home and we need my salary to maintain that. We'll see what happens. I predict 2012 is going to be a fun year.

My 2011 photo scrapbook is done and can be viewed here:

Happy New Year!

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Lovely Christmas

We had a very nice Christmas!  Relaxed and lovely :-)  It began with Christmas Eve at my parents. Cassidy was friendly and played with the Magnadoodle with Aunt Barbara and pretended that she didn't want my Gram to tickle her (she did want to be tickled).
She was semi-interested in opening gifts.  I don't think she understood something was in the box but she enjoyed it a lot once I put it all together!

Santa came that night with nice surprises for us all.

Well, Jake looks bored in all these pictures but he was excited later when we gave him his new stuffed reindeer!  Once we got dressed we headed to Bill's mom's house. Cassidy loved playing with all her cousins toys. There are a LOT of toys at that house.
As Bill posted on Facebook, "28 hours, 300 miles in the car, 3 Christmas get togethers...". I won't lie, it was a long day. It's a lot of sitting in the car so Cassidy was up late that night after too much napping during the day. But it was fun. Bill and I rocked out on the way home to I Can See Clearly Now by Johnny Nash (It's a bright sunshiny day!)!

She was very serious about her vacuuming.

I've already created a box of old toys to donate and need to get going to taking down all the Christmas decorations. One more week off of work and lots to get done!

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Merry Christmas

I think I'm more excited than Cassidy that Santa is coming tonight! At 20 months old, she doesn't really get it. Though we did let her open a gift from someone Bill works with last night, after she carried the bag around saying "present, present, present" and tried to open all the others under the tree. Thankfully she was distracted pretty easily "Hey it's supper time!"
Food always works as a good distraction with her.

Speaking of, she's eating her pre-party snack right now
Soon we'll be getting in our party dresses, setting out cookies for Santa and sprinkling reindeer food in the driveway (oatmeal and glitter - Thank You daycare!).  I love the magic of Christmas and its so much more magical with Cassidy in our lives!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all!

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Post - Operative doctors appointment update

I had my post-op visit with the plastic surgeon today.  She said there is some swelling, which is to be expected and in 2 to 3 weeks things will look more like they are going to look in the future.  She said they will drop down a little bit (basically I look like I have a permanent push-up bra on!). She thinks they are going to look great!

There's one spot that I thought were stitches poking out and she said yes, they are stitches but they'll dissolve. In the same area there's a red splotchy area which landed me with five more days of antibiotics. She said it's probably nothing to worry about but better safe than sorry.

She agreed with me that darn righty is again leaning towards my armpit. She explained that the stitches they put in my muscles to hold righty more centered are permanent stitches so they should hold. As another precaution, my lifting restriction (no more than ten pounds) will remain until January 10th!  Also, while I don't have to wear the ugly Velcro bra and can wear one of my own, she wants me to pad under my right armpit to push my breast more towards the middle and take the pressure off those stitches so they can heal. She thinks once everything droops a little I'll look more even.

Some good news, starting next week I can do low impact workouts and its okay to sleep on my side (yahoo!).  I don't have to go back for two months so I have my list of instructions until then (lifting restrictions, massage instructions etc).  I feel like I have one more step done. One more step back to my normal life!

Sunday, December 18, 2011

New implants make noises

On Thursday when I took off my super fashionable Velcro bra to shower, I noticed when I moved, I heard noises.  The only way to describe these noises is... my boobs are farting. My implants are silicone gel so its not them making noise. I assume the noises are from fluid building up around them (IE swelling). I did confirm with a girlfriend that hers made noises at first too. At least I know I'm not crazy.

I'm feeling better. I understand now why the surgeon said this time I'd really have to remember not to lift things. I feel well enough that Cassidy throwing herself at me doesn't phase me and I've reached for her quite a few times. It's important to remember though as I would like to avoid surgery for as long as possible so I want these implants to stay where they are and heal.

Recently I showed Cassidy how to see the picture on my camera after I take one. BIG mistake. She doesn't get that she has to sit still and let me take a picture before there is one to see. This morning I asked her if I could take her picture. Her response "yeah!". She pushed her chair over near the front door.

Sat down for about 15 seconds for me to take a photo and then raced over to me to look at it.  It's actually not too bad with only the blurry arm. I don't think she stayed still for even one second.  Then she sat on my lap wanting me to take her picture.  She's so funny. I just love her to pieces.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Exchange surgery yesterday

According to the plastic surgeon, yesterday’s surgery went well.  Bill and I got there a little late due to traffic. So I didn’t have to wait when I got there, in fact they had called my cell. I got into my johnny and the surgeons came by before the nurse had even covered me with my warm blanket. By the time they got the IV in I’d talked to anesthesia and Bill had been back with me for like 4 minutes and we were saying “see you later” and I was off to surgery early.

The anesthesiologist did a great job and I woke up in recover not nauseous at all. What a difference that makes. We were heading home by 2:30!

Last week we had decided on 450cc implants based on thinking there was 460cc’s in my expanders. During surgery they realized there was more than 460cc’s. We’d discussed if there was a question to go bigger, not smaller. So I have the biggest implants possible for my chest size – 500cc’s!  And even swollen they don’t seem too big so we’ll see. 

Last week we also discussed how my right boob had moved down and towards my armpit and was far from symmetrical. So I knew they were going to do a lot of deep tissue stitches to move righty back where she belongs. And that is what is pretty painful. If it wasn’t for that I’d just take Advil. My left side is a little sore but really feels fine. The right is very painful to move my arm or lift anything. So I’ll have longer than predicted lifting restrictions due to that but I’ll do whatever it takes for it to stay in place. I’m looking forward to not ever wearing a bra again!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Picture with Santa

Yesterday Bill and I went Christmas shopping. We did our Toys-R-Us run and we let Santa know what Cassidy wanted. My parents watched Cassidy while we shopped and then we all met at a restaurant for dinner. During which Cassidy was a total spaz and didn't eat a bit!

During our shopping we had purchased a really cute sweater dress for Cassidy to wear on Christmas.  Today, we thought we'd dress her up and go have her picture taken with Santa. We talked about it a bunch of times. She kept saying "yeah", she wanted to see Santa.  She probably did want to see him, but she didn't want to sit with him. She immediately got the big pouty lip and started crying! 

Our house is all decked out for Christmas!

Jake is got a bath yesterday. He's so soft!

The little reindeer has a scarf with pockets.
Not sure what she's looking for but she checks
the pockets regularly.

My Christmas shopping is all done!  I'm hoping to finish wrapping gifts, run some errands, clean the house and take Jake for a nail trim tomorrow. Oh yeah, and I have to work too.  Surgery on Tuesday so I want to get lots done so I can focus on healing the rest of the week. Busy time of year to be having surgery but new boobs will hopefully be a great Christmas gift!

Friday, December 9, 2011

You've got to trust a plastic surgeon

Yesterday we had our pre-surgical meeting with the plastic surgeon to discuss details for next weeks exchange surgery. I'm exchanging my coconut like tissue expander's for soft squishy implants.  We discussed the size I want to be which is,  the same as I was naturally or slightly bigger, no smaller (your welcome Bill).

I never thought I had big boobs. Yes, bigger than most of my family but they had small boobs and I figured I was normally sized. But in figuring out what size implants I need to get me back where I used to be I realized, I had big boobs for a person with a puny 13 inch chest.  My tissue expander's are actually larger than my body so I have significant side-boob which I can't wait to be gone!  We had to find implants that could fit on a 13 inch chest but would still be as big as I want. Enter the high profile implant which is specifically for thin women who want big boobs! 

We also discussed how they look now. The right one is not looking good. It sags down and off to my armpit. The doctor said she'd lift that one so there would be deeper stitches and more resting that side.  I think the left looks good.  Apparently the doctor is a perfectionist because she thinks near my cleavage there's a flat spot (?) so she's going to fix that too.

I think if you need to have someone build you new boobs a perfectionist is the way to go.

Finally we squeezed an implant and we were shocked.  When you read online about the new silicon gummy implants they are described as like a gummy bear.  Meaning you can cut it in half and nothing leaks, it's cohesive.  So I expected it to be, kind of firm feeling. It wasn't, it was SO soft. I can't wait to get those in me and get these awful things out! Now I'm excited.

The one piece of bad news is I have to go back to sleeping on my back for a month to 6 weeks :-(   Just thinking about it last night made me restless. I'll be picking up some Advil PM this weekend.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Kids grow up so fast

Today was my nephew's thirteenth birthday. He's a teenager! Time really does fly. I have so many memories of him younger that seem like a couple of years ago... How did so much time pass? 

When he was two and a half we all went to the town summer fair. My sister and I left our purses at her house and upon arriving her husband realized he didn't have his wallet. We sat on the grass and waited for him to go home and pick up some money. My sister took a picture of my nephew and I while we waited and I still have it framed in the hallway.  I've had that picture framed for ten years!

He is now as tall as his mom. I hope he had a great birthday and stays the good kid he is now.

Realizing how fast the years pass helps remind me to appreciate these toddler years with Cassidy.  She had fun at her cousin's birthday party today. Last night we practiced saying "Happy Birthday" but she clams up around people so she wouldn't say it. Though she did say it at home again tonight.  She sat next to him while he opened his gifts. She was really cute.

Thursday, December 1, 2011


I've been thinking a lot about stress lately, specifically what stress does to your body.  I met a group of women who have not only breast cancer in common, but also successful careers. And with most successful careers, comes a lot of stress.  Now, I'm not saying stress causes cancer but... does it maybe give it an environment in which to thrive?

Since I've returned to work, I've been trying very hard not to let myself get stressed. The truth is, what frustrates me most about my job are things I have no control over. I can only control the things I do and how I react.  I've done pretty well reducing my stress the last few weeks.

And yet, I sit here on a Thursday evening thinking... I really should work on that project this weekend. After vowing to myself a million times that I'm not going to work on my day off or the weekend. That I'm not going to stress about tight deadlines. Though this tight deadline is tight because of my upcoming surgery.  Is it more stressful to have this project hanging over my head and have to rush to finish it Monday? Or is it less stressful just to spend 2 hours on it and have it done with? I don't think there's an easy answer.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Cute kid

I say it all the time and I know it's mom pride but I have the cutest kid. With the weather still so nice we played outside a lot this weekend.  She peeks through the fence into the neighbors yard!  It's awful but it's also cute.

About a year ago I purchased headbands with little flower clips for her. She's never worn them though I wear the flowers.  The headbands are a little tight on her head now but she puts them on for 2 minutes or so.  She still doesn't have enough hair for a headband!

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Lovely holiday and pet peeves

We had a lovely Thanksgiving. Good food (uh huh I am a good cook!) and company. Cassidy was (as always) totally adorable!  Even with just a small group, we had 4 generations of family. Of course we took a picture.
Which brings me to my first pet peeve.  The last time I'd used my camera we'd been outside at a playground so it was set for action.  Which you need a lot of light for. It doesn't happen often but it happened on Thanksgiving - I forgot to switch it for indoor pictures, so every picture we took is dark :-(

For my second pet peeve...  mail. I've been noticing for awhile now that I seem to get coupons in the mail close to when they expire.  Yesterday, Black Friday, at 4pm when my mail arrived I got a coupon from the Old Navy that was good for the 3 days leading up to Black Friday?  Coupons from Stop-n-Shop good for the week before?  It's frustrating enough getting your mail and it's 1 or 2 relevant things and the rest all junk mail but if you're going to send coupons at least send them before they expire!

Not that I'm doing any shopping this weekend since Bill went to CT for the weekend and I am home alone.  Shopping alone with Cassidy is not fun at all. The grocery store will be the only store I see this weekend!

Wednesday, November 23, 2011


In past years that I hosted Thanksgiving, I found it stressful. Writing lists of what to buy, when to do what, cleaning, cooking etc. Racing around like a nut. Everything had to be perfect. 


I hate that word. Nothing is ever perfect and aiming for perfection just causes stress. I'm sure I'll forget to put the rolls in the oven to warm them up or forget to cook the vegetables (it's happened!). But this year, I don't care. I'm not stressed.  As someone said to me just yesterday "everything works out whether you stress about it or not". We will have a lovely Thanksgiving tomorrow with great food and good company. I can't wait for a nice relaxing day.

Last weekend we went to the playground since the weather was so nice. I am loving the weather we've been having and I wish it would last all winter. It's nice to be outdoors comfortably in November.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

No doctors appointments for 15 days!

I have no doctors appointments for 15 whole days. My life suddenly seems uneventful.  I suspect in early 2012 those 15 days will stretch to months. That will be pretty nice!

My first entire week back to work is over! I'm caught up but again, a bit of a lame duck as I will be out again on medical leave in twelve more working days. Not that I'm counting. Work did prove to me that though I feel different and think I look different, I don't.  Which Bill has been telling me all along but why would I believe him? 

Yesterday a friend brought Cassidy a much belated birthday gift. A pink rocking horse (oh yeah, we have a pony!). He's pink but we know he's a boy because his voice is male. She loves it. I wasn't sure she would. When I showed her that his mouth moves when he sings the look on her face was priceless. She might just think he's real now.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Back to my normal (crazy) life

Nice weekend of nothing special, shopping, cooking, raking leaves and a family dinner out.  I went for my first run in 6 weeks. I am out of shape! J  My hair has grown long enough that I need a tiny ponytail with a lot of barrettes! Cassidy noticed it and was fascinated by it.

Cassidy likes to pull her little seat up to our coffee table to enjoy snacks. She started putting her legs up to get comfortable.  So cute!

I have two weeks off with no doctors appointments!  I feel like I have plenty to do though with my next surgery in only four weeks. I really need to get Christmas shopping and holiday things done. I attempted this past weekend to get a holiday card photo but someone was tired and grumpy and wouldn’t smile. I’m definitely missing the free time I had now that I’m back to work. I'm also missing sleeping until 6:30am so... maybe I'm the one who's tired and grumpy :-)

Friday, November 11, 2011

Back to work

It was a hectic week.  I wish I had a massage or something relaxing planned for this weekend because I need it. oh wait, I can't get a massage because I can't lay on my stomach. insert big pathetic sigh :-(

Wednesday I had two doctors appointments that went fine. Got the all clear from the breast surgeon and I never need to see her again. Another 80 cc's in my expander's from the plastic surgeon and I won't need any more fills.  Bill surprised me by taking that afternoon off and we went out for lunch in Boston. It was a beautiful sunny day so that was nice.

Thursday I went back to work. I figured I could handle it for one day. Get through my email and catch up a little.  I hadn't told many people why I was going to be out. I had decided that if I needed chemo and lost my hair everyone would find out but since I didn't know when I left what would happen on that score I didn't broadcast why I would be out of the office. Lots of people asked me if I was okay.  I, of course, responded with an "I'm great!". No one asked me why I'd been out and I didn't volunteer any information.

This morning I went to have my birth control implant removed. My arm is still a little numb but I have a feeling it's going to hurt all weekend. The doctor said the bruising would be similar to having it put in and it was pretty awful then. 

I'm really sad today. In the past few months my life has changed a lot. I realize today is just one more thing on top of more serious things that happened last month but it's like the straw that broke the camels back. Which is not good since I have plenty of more stuff coming up. It's too early for this to be the straw.  It seems so minor. So what, we use other birth control. But it changes things. I'm going to get my period for the first time since 2009. That sounds pretty awful to me. Bill has an appointment next month for a vasectomy which is one more thing to do in December. So much has changed so fast there hasn't been time to process it. If I honestly answered my coworkers question about how I am...  I'm not great.  I'm just okay.

Sunday, November 6, 2011


Friday we met with my new Oncologist at Faulkner Hospital. He spent 45 minutes with us and I felt like we had his full attention that entire time. I felt like he tried to get to know me, not just my diagnosis. He is also very nice and came across as very intelligent.

First he asked me lots of questions. Then he examined me which I found… uncomfortable.  I’m not used to the new me and its different showing the breast surgeon or the plastic surgeon. My face was bright red and he commented on it – asking Bill if my complexion is normally like that! Ugh. I said I was hot. I’m pretty sure I fooled no one. Then I got to get dressed (Thank god) and he reviewed my final pathology report of the tissue they removed in detail.

7.3 cm by 3.6 cm of DCIS was found in my tissue (same as my biopsy). That’s a big area.

0.02cm of Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (IDC) was found in the midst of all the DCIS.  Estrogen receptor positive (though not as receptive as the DCIS), Progestin receptor negative and HER positive (this is bad and indicates an aggressive cancer).  This was the bad cancer that can kill you. It was classified as Stage 2.

Lymph nodes were all negative for any cancerous cells.  Surprising to Bill and I was the news that they ended up removing 5 nodes!  2 of the Sentinel nodes (that fed off my breast – these were the ones we wanted to get) and 3 more that were in the path to get to the sentinel nodes so kind of removed for no reason.  It’s important for me to know this because the more nodes removed, the greater my chance of getting Lymphadema in my right arm. I’m hoping I never get that!

But the IDC was the thing to worry about and the Oncologist was very happy that it was only 0.02cm. If it had been 0.04cm’s I would have been put on a short round of Chemotherapy but at 0.02cm he felt that the risks of Chemo are not worth it for such a tiny amount of cancer that has already been cut out.  He said my lifetime risk of recurrence is around 4%.

Our plan to reduce that 4% risk to 1% (or less) is:  I am having my birth control implant removed from my arm and beginning January 1, 2012 I will start taking Tamoxifen.  Tamoxifen is a drug that inhibits the amount of estrogen my body will produce. I would expect to be on it for five years. It is pretty standard for any pre-menopausal women with breast cancer.  The side effects are hot-flashes!  Based on my medical history my oncologist is hopeful that I won’t experience bad side effects. I’m thinking positive that I’ll tolerate this medicine well.  Tamoxifen also has some benefits, one of which is stronger bones. The other is lower cholesterol but I already have low cholesterol.

I feel, so lucky. So lucky that I caught this before that .02 grew to a .04! I am a happy, lucky, healthy chick!

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Trick or Treating

Last night was our delayed Trick or Treat night after the power outtages.  Cassidy wore her duck costume and loved helping us hand out candy. She ran to the door everytime the bell rang and then waved bye to the kids as they left (ok, after they were out of sight but she tries).  It was a fun night!

Shabby Shoppe Goosebumps digital package

Thursday, November 3, 2011

What a difference a week makes

I feel really good this week. Not taking Advil except the PM kind to get to sleep (which my stomach is grateful for). It's amazing the difference a week made. I have my oncologist appointment tomorrow, breast surgeon and plastic surgeon next week and then I plan to go back to work next Thursday. Which I'm kind of looking forward too.

Many folks in the area still don't have power (my sister, most of our friends and family in CT). I'm still happy we never lost ours this go around and I hope the power companies get everything fixed tonight as it's going to be a chillier few days here.  But today was a warm 60 degrees. My mom and I took Cassidy to the playground and out to lunch.  After her afternoon nap Cassidy tried on Grammi's sneakers

Yelled "HI" to our house guest Moe

and had a lovely snack of ants on a log (celery, cream cheese & raisins - surprisingly good!)

But most importantly, okay its early but I'm a rule breaker, I can do this again

And carrying her isn't too awful. Actually, buckling her into her car seat is harder (pushing those clips together is SO Hard for me but I can pick up 25 lbs? the body is a mysterious thing...)!  I'm not over doing it, but it's nice to be able to pick her up again.

Monday, October 31, 2011

Halloween - Postponed

Well, thanks to the unseasonably early snowstorm, Halloween Trick or Treating is postponed. Much of our town (luckily not us for a change) is without electricity so I think it's the right decision by the town to postpone. I hope my friends start getting their power back soon. We've gone through it, once for 4 days and we sympathize.

Last Thursday, Bill's work had a big Halloween party known as, Athenaween :-)  Bill worked from home that day and brought her to the kiddie portion in the afternoon. I had told Cassidy earlier that daddy was taking her to a party and she was so excited. Carrying her costume around the house, trying to put her tights on over her corduroys.   So... while I don't have official Halloween photos, I have a little sneak peak of Cass in her duck costume.  Which she loves.  But she won't say Quack.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

I think it's winter already

I'm glad Cassidy and I played outside and got a long walk in on Friday because I'm pretty sure it's winter now :-(  It's way too early.

Bill and I had a babysitter for Cassidy last night so we could go out. It's so nice to get out without Cass.  We went to the movies and saw 50/50 which we both highly recommend. Not sure if we liked it so much because of our own fight with cancer but we really thought it was a great movie.

And then we went to dinner and the bushes outside the restaurant looked like:
UGH :-(  It's not even Halloween! It's too early for snow!  Cassidy's reaction upon looking out the window this morning was "OH NO!"   Yup! You called it baby!

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

My First Fill and all good news

Today we visited the plastic surgeon. We're going to be regulars there for awhile. We saw Abbie the physicians assistant today and she said I look amazing. A few days ago I had noticed that gravity had started to work and my boobs had moved slightly downward. Now, I'm not saying I could hold a pencil with my boob but I didn't feel like they were at my collarbones anymore. 

So I had my first fill, 80 cc's of saline in each. She chose to stop at 80 because she didn't want to push my incisions. And they are back up to my collarbones again ha ha. She said they'll settle down in a couple weeks - just in time for my second fill!  It felt fine - just everything getting much tighter again. And they are obviously bigger.  I'd say close to my normal size.  My homework is to start trying on my clothes and see if I'm happy where I'm at or how much bigger I need to go to be happy.

I think we got lots of good news. I talked to her about how I'm less than thrilled with how I look. She reassured me that implants won't be as round and they have a style of implant called high profile that might be best for me (more projection). So I'm relieved. She was going to look at my before photos to see if she thought that would give me the "old" me look. She thought it will be no problem to have my expander to implant swap surgery this calendar year so I'm all booked for surgery on December 13th!  Yippee! and OMG I've got to do my Xmas shopping before then ha ha!

Lastly, I've had something sticking out of the incision in my right armpit that has been driving me nuts. I was going to ask Lisa to cut it off Friday night but that won't be necessary because that's already been done. I told Abbie and she took a look and it was a knot of sutures sticking out so she cut it and pulled it out! Thank goodness!

I'm feeling pretty hopeful that I can be happy with the new me.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Good Pathology News

Late Monday the doctor called with the final pathology report. Lymph nodes still clear (phew!). They found a teeny tiny amount of invasive cancer; 2 millimeters or for us Americans who still don't know the metric system,  .07 inches.  TINY! They are setting me up an appointment with an oncologist as standard practice.I asked what she thought the recommendation might be and she said maybe nothing, maybe hormone therapy.  I'm happy to see the oncologist because there is still the question of my (hormonal) birth control implant which is still in my arm.  I suspect I'm going to hear a firm - remove it! but I'll wait until I hear it in person.

If you've done any on-line research on  my diagnosis there are questions on whether DCIS would ever turn invasive. Sometimes it doesn't. It was hard for me to have my entire breast removed for something that may or may not have become invasive. That teeny tiny amount of invasive cancer they found confirms that I did the right thing because my DCIS would have turned invasive.  Not that I'm the type of person to ever regret anything but... I don't ever have to second guess any of my decisions now.

I need to talk to work about when I'm going back but now I have two or three more doctors appointments (oncologist, follow-up with breast surgeon, and then maybe BC Implant removed) so I'm hoping to be able to provide work with a date by the end of this week. It just doesn't make sense to me to go back to work and then have to use my vacation time on doctors appointments.

This past weekend we went to the Franklin Park Zoo. Which we felt was a bit of a rip off since half the animals were gone. It was still a nice day to be outside and enjoying the fall day.

zebras are cool

Bill looks so happy!

None of the pictures have me in them because I still cannot hold my child.  Ten more days!

Saturday, October 22, 2011

No News is probably good news

Still haven't heard from the doctor on the final pathology. I'd really like to know for sure that the darn cancer hasn't spread!  I'll be crossing my fingers that they call Monday.  On the other hand, I'm using this as an excuse not to set up a follow-up appointment with the breast surgeon, which just delays when I go back to work so that's okay :-)

I drove for the first time in two weeks this morning.  It was okay and worth it since I bought Cassidy a cute hoodie at TJ Maxx for ten bucks!

We're off to the zoo today. I wish the darn sun would come out. I'm starting to think the weather people were wrong for today.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Resting and Recuperating

Ahh the lazy days of recuperating.  yeah, I'm bored. I'm digital scrapbooking like crazy and having visitors and lots of lunches out. Which is all good and better than working but I'm just not a homebody. Especially since I'm feeling pretty good. I'm off the pain medicine and just taking Advil.

My lingering problem is sleeping. It's not comfortable to sleep on my side which is my preferred sleep position. So I'm stuck on my back every night. I have a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep. Right now I'm just tired but I'm gearing up for tired and cranky by the end of the week. 

So lots of friends and family have been asking me if I've gotten the final word on my lymph nodes, IE. the full pathology report.  They tell me to call the doctor. I remind them I had surgery the Friday afternoon before a holiday weekend. They keep telling  me to call. So I called today. I told the nurse that my family & friends are pestering me so I'm pestering her. Funnily she said that is often the case. That the patient is calm & collected and not in a rush but family and friends pester them to call and find out. Well, for all you pesterer's out there - they don't have the results yet. They will call me when they get them. They are behind due to the holiday!  As soon as I hear I will pass along the good news

Cassidy is starting to get sick and tired of Daddy and wants Mama to pick her up but... I can't for 16 more days. Bill is doing all the baths so I took some photos at bath time the other night.
She is fascinated by soap and bubbles. I hug this kid constantly and tell her I love her about a thousand times a day.  She's just the cutest, sweetest kid.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Drains out!

I had a happy day Friday! I got the drains taken out! It didn't hurt a bit and it's so nice to be able to reach over my head. I also don't have to wear the super fashionable velcro bra anymore. Thank goodness!  Though there was some issue with finding something to fit the new me.  You'd assume that the new me is smaller but that is not the case. Probably the same size but shaped differently. I have lots of questions for my next plastic surgery visit.  and I'm hoping to god that what's in  my armpits is just swelling.

We haven't done much with all the driving back and forth to the doctors.  I'm running out of pain meds so I'm starting to wean myself off them today. It's going okay and I'll be totally done Sunday night.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Follow-up appointment with Plastic Surgeon

The drainage output sheet they gave to me from the hospital stated that when each drain is producing less than 30 ML in a 24 hour period, call your doctor to have them removed. You can imagine the dancing we did this morning when my quantities for the last 24 hours were 29 and 20!  I dressed in regular clothes (that didn't really fit drains) figuring they will be coming out for sure.  I tell the nurse how excited I am!  She takes the sheet with our measurements.

The doctor walks in and says "I hate these sheets!  You're going to hate me. My rule is less than 20 ML"
So I still have drains in.  I'm hoping and praying that tomorrow morning I'm under 20 on each side. If not my options over the weekend are 1) wait until Monday or 2) Call the on call plastic surgeon at Brigham & Womens and if they don't have too many emergencies they might agree to take them out.  But I might get there only to find out that emergencies have arisen and have to wait 4 hours. 

Option #2 doesn't really work with my life. Though my life is pretty limited with hoses sticking out of me.  I'm really hoping tomorrow works out!  The doctor said that if the drains are the worst part of this it's going really well. She said I look good and I'll go for my first expander fill-up in two weeks!  The doctor did try to put some padding around the drain holes and tape them up so hopefully they don't move around too much and bother me less.

Interesting information -  my sister and I had wondered what was holding my incisions together - stitches? staples?  I looked but couldn't really see anything, turns out, that makes sense because it's glue holding me together!

Friends have sent me some lovely flowers, one had a balloon which Cassidy loves and carries around the house. I also got an edible arrangement! The look on Cassidy's face was pricelss, you would've thought she won the lottery! We had to immediately open it so she could begin eating it! Thanks for helping make our house so cheerful!